Wednesday, January 30, 2008

pregnant??

((WARNING! Possible 'TMI' ahead ;>))

So this is probably going to be a long one. I have a lot on my mind about this subject and haven't told very many people (outside of my close friends here) that we have been trying to have another baby since, pretty much, last March. I stopped nursing Tatum right around then and had known for a few months before that, that I was ready to have another. I realize that this can be a sensitive subject and that I might end up sounding selfish, but....well.....you've been warned! Thinking

Now I know what most of you are thinking.....IS SHE CRAZY?! Isn't 4 enough? What is she complaining about? Well, those are ALL valid questions and I realized that yes, I might sound crazy and 4 is enough for most people and I don't have a lot of room to complain, BUT we have known since Tatum was born that we are not done having kids that we want at least 2 more and I am NOT getting any younger and I DON'T want to be 40 (even 35 really) and still having kids.

I have never had problems getting pregnant in the past. In fact, with almost all of them, we have planned it out and been pregnant within a few weeks time. The only exceptions are with Tatum and Asia. I wanted to get pregnant with Asia in Dec '03, but didn't so then I got some ovulation predicters and got pregnant in Jan '04 instead. Then, I had one miscarriage in Oct of '05 and then was pregnant with Tatum by Thanksgiving. So it has been extremely frustrating for me not to get pregnant when I planned too. I was actually hoping to have given birth by now.

To back up to around March, I was talking to my friend, Kapua Kai, and she was saying that she and her husband had been tossing around the idea of having another one soon (they have 4 girls, also, all the same ages as ours, except their youngest is almost a year older than Tatum) and so I was all excited thinking that she and I would be pregnant together. Well, like 3 weeks later, she called and told me she was pregnant and then a couple weeks after that our other friend, Sheri Dano (who has 5 kids already) called to say she is pregnant too. They were teasing me because they were like, this is your idea and "Why aren't you pregnant already, miss wanna have a million kids?!" So the teasing continued for several months and my frustration continued to grow. We tried everything! I even got ovulation predictors for a couple of months in June and July and that didn't work.

By the way, Kapua gave birth to ANOTHER GIRL on Sunday the 27th of Jan.!! (Kezlee Chalei Kaomealani Kai). So I was kind of depressed, but there is a (MAYBE) silver lining. I'm not sure, but I might actually be pregnant FINALLY!!!!! I was supposed to start my period sometime a few days ago and I am rarely late. I am too cheap to go buy a test, so I just need to go to the Dr. office and do it all in one trip to make it official. I am trying not to have high hopes, but I think it's too late. I have really high hopes!!!

3 comments:

The Prices said...

Oh I hope you are pregnant!! That will be great. I know how much you want it. Please tell Kapua congratulations on another girl!!

Chelsea (sis-in-law)! said...

KJ-
Having been through three years of this same frustrating dilema, I empathize. It is heartbreaking and frustrating all at the same time...ESPECIALLY when you see others so easily attaining your dream which you have no control over. I hope you are pregnant too! At the same time, it is so interesting how the Lord works and it seems in most cases that His timing is perfect, (although that does not make the months previous any easier.) Love you! Can't wait to see you!

Mama Nash said...

Oh, I am sorry! It took that long with our second...I even had to do pills to help! Obvoisly it worked, she is here. It is hard to see others get prego..If it is meant to be it will!!.I am so sorry!